Monday, April 30, 2007

so she said she cried when she read my previous post.. i didnt know she had the urge to cry.. i thought u didnt care.. care at all.. so now i know u don even care..

Ohh god..

i hate u
i hate u
i hate u
i hate u
i hate u
i hate u

ohh god i love u..

sigh..

y did u have to change.? y ?? tell me.. give me a fuckin good reason y..

Ohh god.. i ve realised im changed back to that someone who used to be very violent.. im that someone again.. ohh god.. i have no one but me to blame.. i don want that fuckin guy to take over me.. that someone in me.. the violent guy
i don want him to come back.. thanks to u he jus did..

I look into your eyes and see that your colors changing

I wish that I could change with you

and when you said forever did you mean it to be true?

or was it another tale from you

Those memories were sweet,

11:57 PM

Sunday, April 29, 2007

http://emreiqmal.multiply.com/

hey people. check out my nephew's cool multiply.. he forced me to let everyone see..

so wat are u waitin for people.. quick add him if you got multiply..

if u dont u still can view his profile..

Those memories were sweet,

3:36 PM

Stars in the sky shining bright
Like your eyes in the night
I used to hold you and we'll know that
everythings all right

Don't try to tell me
I don't wanna hear
I won't believe when you say
That it's over.. it's not over

Maybe it's not me
Maybe it's just you
But i'm sure you're the reason why i am
Feeling screwed
Can't you see i'm losing my mind
when you're not around
i miss u
i miss u
i miss u..

A song written by a good friend, Kamal..
for u sarah amirah

Seriously............ Do u even care of how i feel sara?

When all u ever cared about was u..

thanks to u, the hatred grows

Those memories were sweet,

1:33 AM

Was Written by a good friend, Kamal.. From me to you.. sigh

Those memories were sweet,

12:07 AM

Sunday, April 22, 2007

i dont know wat else to do.. i dont know wat else to think. i dont know wat else to feel. i dont know wat else to say..

Everything keeps reminding me of her.. From eatin at KFC where she used to disturb me by puttin chilli or mayonaise on my face or hand. From passin by bedok reservoir reminds me of times when we waited for the poor turtles to come out and feed them, but in the end i ate the bread.. and that swing at the reservoir seems so special in a way. remember? east coast, where we sat at the very Burger King where u still disturb me with the mayo. and where u told me u could walk with ur toes. and u showed me how. i tried to walk with my toes too but i jus cant. It rained heavily that day and we sat at the gelare shiverin. i bought u hot chocolate when i didnt even have enough money. i used my dad's money i was supposed to buy stuff he told me to.

That very place where i first saw u, Kallang stadium. Was with Din when i saw u. didnt expect that totally. That first time i asked u out when i had no money, Pasir Ris Park. u gave me this look everytime u see me.. that look that keeps appearin in my head. Walked to the park, always lookin down cuz i was shy.. and u kept disturbin me about lookin down. steppin on squisy green green grass with ur slippers. walkin on the sand at late night, lookin at the trail of foot steps we've made. tryin to discover new words for MOE and new discovery for the Discovery channel on cable and jus lookin at that weird thing we used to call golf course. disturbin the natural habitat, laughin at night, sittin by the rock near the place where u left ur 'TAIL' remember that? sittin on the rock listenin to music like underoath which u don like. Tiger lily which u like.

My friendster profile where u asked me about suckin eggs. u asked me to show u how. and i promised i'd show u one fine day. but i didnt really get to do that. And that very pic of urs, i still remember the caption 'sara'. that very red pic made me click on ur profile. those messages u sent got that word u love to say. 'adore' i still keep them. No, not to make me feel more hurt.. but jus to keep it for memories..

i smiled when i think of the times we used to have..

i wish i didnt took granted of that.

Its hard to say that i was wrong, its hard to say i miss u..

Since u've been gone im not the same..

Taken from Adillah's personal msg..

"Wanna be happy, but yet its not easy.. cuz the one u really love, is the one that'll hurt u the most.."

"And u always hurt the person that love u the most.."

Do you really want to lose it all.?

Those memories were sweet,

1:44 AM

Friday, April 13, 2007

lesson of the day..

Dont ever give someone ur everything..

cuz when u do, she's break everything into pieces u can nvr

put back together..

Those memories were sweet,

10:12 PM

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

sigh..

everything have been fallin apart since then.. i dont understand what is happenin right now..this every moment.. i dont understand this feeling.. i dont understand wat does life actually mean.. i know i still got alot to go thru.. but i jus wish that i could end everytihng now.. im not being a emo fag or wat.. its jus that im super down now.. with everything.. except family.. i nvr told any of my family members about this.. sigh.. not even my sister..

i miss everything we had.. wat we used to do.. wat we used to laugh at.. where we used to go.. i miss everything.. im wishin that everything was jus a bad dream.. speakin of dreams.. i dreamt about her again this mornin.. i didnt feel like wakin up but then i had to.. in that dream we were like happily laughin about stuff.. runnin ard havin pure fun. im wishin that i am someone else right now.. im wishin..

jus like she said to me.. there's no us now.. sigh i feel so broken..

A photo can capture the way we were

But it can't capture the way we are

Cause you're far away

When you told me that you loved me

with those just words

You can't tell me you don't need me

and I know that hurts

Cause I'm looking at your picture

Cause it's all I've got

Maybe one day

You and me will have one more shot

it was too good to be true anyway

and i had fun while it lasted

Sigh

Those memories were sweet,

2:34 AM

Friday, April 06, 2007

its hard to understand the pain i feel..

its really hard..

these past days i keep dreamin of her..

even this mornin i dreamt of her..
and i still remember a few parts..
i wish some were true.. sigh.. i wish..

Those memories were sweet,

12:38 AM

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Things have changed since then..

Why does good things always have to end??

Why does good guys always finish last??

Where is she on my tagboard??

Does she even visits it??

Does she even care??

What is the meanin of life now??

These questions i ask myself for the past few days.. and i still cant answer it..
i dont understand..

Will i ever hold her hand again??

Those memories were sweet,

12:30 AM

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

i swear that i can go on forever again..
pls let me know that my one bad day will end..
i will go down as ur lover, ur friend..
give me ur lips and with one kiss we begin..

are u afraid of being alone? cuz i am..
im lost without u..
are u afraid of leavin tonight? cuz i am..
im lost without u..

Those memories were sweet,

12:25 AM