Sunday, August 20, 2006

hello there.. it's cucumber again after a heart-warming post from spider... Gee... he's super sweet.. Muackx:)
well as you know, i'm totally busy with school, perpetually indulging myself in assignments... and i feel sad, bad and terrible.. cos i left out people whom i love and cherish the most in my life... My family and him.... He's been having an extremely hard time with exams and sometimes i really thik i'm just helpless and useless to the extent cause i cant seem to play much of a role then... But i gave what i could... Be it straineous times of rushing through work or even skipping group meetings... i'm always in his heart... does he know how much i love him?
though there might be a couple of misunderstandings between us.. be it tiffs or nonchalance...We never fail to salvage it...But somehow feelings do fluctuate at times like this... But it never depleted to the extent when i wanna give him up...i never will... BUT, will he ever understand? Understand how much pain i go through every single time we start to debate or maybe the tears i've shed just to hear him say i'm sorry... When will he start to understand that it's also my fault when we scream and yell at each other...
Sometimes i ask myself "why?"
i) Why do i always spark it off
ii) Why cant i just tolerate
iii) Why cant i just smile and let things resolve naturally

Oh gawd.. i wonder how much pain i've put him through.. How much misery my poor lil spider has dwelled into... All these nonsense has to stop... i'll overcome stress soon... well everything takes time... will he ever wait for me? (thats another question.....)
Lastly, i wanna say that i'm sorry and thank you... AND.... Baby i love you... i never regretted every single second when i'm with you... for you make my life whole...

ciao ciao
cucumber signing off..

Those memories were sweet,

10:46 PM

Friday, August 18, 2006

God oh God.. Are u listenin??

Please give me the strength in everything i do..

It seems that everythings i do is so wrong..

I have to try harder..

Please forgive every Sin i ever did before..

Please.................. Let me stay with Amanda..

She's my baby.. Take everything i own.. Please jus leave amanda alone..

i love her..

Those memories were sweet,

10:24 PM

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

HAPPY ONE MONTH DEAREST DEAR

I LOVE U~~!!

AMANDA!!!!

Im never tired being with u..

I wanna fall in love with u over and over again..

Please let be with u for the rest of my life..

I cant break away from this chains to my heart..

AND I WONT..

CUZ

I love u with all my heart..

I KNOW this words dont mean a thing but i say them anyway..

I LOVE U..

Those memories were sweet,

12:19 AM

Monday, August 07, 2006

btw, it's cucumber here...

i cant seem to fall asleep.. gee... really wonder why... is it because of schol work? or is it due to me missing him? hahahahahahahahaha... well, i should be all tucked in bed by now.. heehee:)

a few hours more till the eighth... and i'm glad how things are coming along.. never thought things will turn out this way... never thought that i could love him so much... never thought that it'll hurt so much when we are apart... Spider's my life and future... but i wanna take things slowly, cos i wanna appreciate and treasure every second that i'm with him... How i wished every minute with him would last forever.. how i wish i had seen him back then... But i'm happy now.. what more can i ask when i'm already with the man i love, the man whom i gave my entire heart to?

i never knew what i was like to shed a tear from the heart till i met him... i never knew what it was like to feel loved, needed and cared for by someone who was so near.. yet seemed so far... and i never expected to love him... but i did... it's a dream come true.... you're my one and only...

Loving him can also be disatrous at times.. because you wouldnt know when to stop.. and it hurts when things dont come our way.. i dont mind sacrificin all these just to be with him.. just to look in that pair of eyes and feel the warmth penetrating through my heart ... after all the misunderstandings, tiffs and cryings...I STILL LOVE HIM ALOT

there're still so many things that i wanna tell him.. but i'll just let time do all the talking... cos i believe someday, someway or another... "you'll know how much i really do love you.. "

sham...it's gonna be a long and rough journey ahead.. but no matter what, i'll stand by you.. you'll never be alone... i love you dear

* Ciao Ciao*
(cucumber signing off)

Those memories were sweet,

1:05 AM

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Amanda.. U add colours to my life.. haha.. Its almost a year that ive known u.. But somehow i jus feel like ive known u forever..

After i read ur post, it almost made me cried.. seriously, so touchin..

And another 2 more days and it'll be a month.. Wow.. thats fast.. The time sure goes fast when ure havin fun..

About yesterday, im sorry.. And yeah it made me stronger too.. i love u for who u are.. Ouuuu, i jus love the piggy back rides.. hehe.. Its jus so so CUTE..

People always says like this.. - - >> ure perfect in a special way..

Well i say, ure perfect in every single way i know.. Ure special.. ure been sent from up above.. U're one in a million..

The way u smile,

The way u laugh,

The way u joke,

The way u tried to please me,

The way u said thank you,

The way u sing,

The way u made everything seems so easy,

The way u make me feel better,

THE WAY U MAKE ME FEEL..

muack.. i love u..

Those memories were sweet,

1:20 AM

Saturday, August 05, 2006

hello... hello... this is cucumber speaking... spider's AWFULLY BUSY with hmmmmm..... ( i really dunno what) hahahahahahaah.... oooops... Sorry spider, i know you're just plain lazy with loads to do....

i'm talking to spider now.. and he's practically screaming in my ear!!!! YES!! i sense ANGER MANAGEMENT did NOT induce anything in his head!!! Totally insane man....

ooooohhhhh.... yellow... reminds me of the YELLOWW PANDA!!!! lovely....

okay, someone's falling sick, and that's really bad!!!! Oh gosh, whats the natural remedy man??? i cant believe it!!! he's been screaming and laughing so LOUDLY, no wonder he's been complaining about sore throats and stuff... SEE!!! SHAM!!! look who's to blame...

Right... i ought to get back on track.. school's real fun!!!! it's like hey everyone! i'm finally back in school after an awful long break... my school ROCKS man... pssst... i know i rock harder!!! :) yea sham?

i had a great time yesterday...it sure does brings back memories yea...he makes me laugh, smile, cry andsing... hey! we're all human beings yea.. of cos there're occassional boohoohoos... i cried because i love him and i care about him.... dont worry, it' made me stronger... it made us stronger too... well i have to understand him.. thats the least that i could do.. right? it'll be sucha BITCH to walk out that door..

it's true... the thing between us is out of ordinary... let's just say that bravery steps in and felicity took over!!! hahahahahahahahhaha... no doubt i love him...

ciao ciao :)
cucumber signing off...

Those memories were sweet,

11:50 PM