Sunday, August 20, 2006

hello there.. it's cucumber again after a heart-warming post from spider... Gee... he's super sweet.. Muackx:)
well as you know, i'm totally busy with school, perpetually indulging myself in assignments... and i feel sad, bad and terrible.. cos i left out people whom i love and cherish the most in my life... My family and him.... He's been having an extremely hard time with exams and sometimes i really thik i'm just helpless and useless to the extent cause i cant seem to play much of a role then... But i gave what i could... Be it straineous times of rushing through work or even skipping group meetings... i'm always in his heart... does he know how much i love him?
though there might be a couple of misunderstandings between us.. be it tiffs or nonchalance...We never fail to salvage it...But somehow feelings do fluctuate at times like this... But it never depleted to the extent when i wanna give him up...i never will... BUT, will he ever understand? Understand how much pain i go through every single time we start to debate or maybe the tears i've shed just to hear him say i'm sorry... When will he start to understand that it's also my fault when we scream and yell at each other...
Sometimes i ask myself "why?"
i) Why do i always spark it off
ii) Why cant i just tolerate
iii) Why cant i just smile and let things resolve naturally

Oh gawd.. i wonder how much pain i've put him through.. How much misery my poor lil spider has dwelled into... All these nonsense has to stop... i'll overcome stress soon... well everything takes time... will he ever wait for me? (thats another question.....)
Lastly, i wanna say that i'm sorry and thank you... AND.... Baby i love you... i never regretted every single second when i'm with you... for you make my life whole...

ciao ciao
cucumber signing off..

Those memories were sweet,

10:46 PM